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  1. For friends that thought they were friends

    Thursday, September 18, 2008

    Life never complicates us but we like to complicate life. Some people say life is difficult, but sometimes I wonder what it is about life that is difficult. As most people know, I have a great life. (Hahaha) sure we have the Ups and Downs, but it is just a piece of cake. There are few moments in my life that I classify as the worst nightmare, but that’s what makes life fun.

    A friend of mine (A) was having a nightmare that I cannot get my mind of it. She is a dear friend of mine. We are in a circle consist of eight people. A is firm, fun and truthful. B is the most quite one. C is noisy and people’s cloth is her favorite, D is emotional and sensitive. From B until D, all I should say that they look naïve but their heart I despise.

    E is straight and sweet, F is low in self confidence but very meticulous. G is a novel writer and sometimes lumpy. We were once very close and went through a lot together. There is one semester that I decided to take myself out of the circle because I felt used and unappreciated. Only E and an outsider friend know that I was hurt by them. I kept my cool and deal with my emotion alone as I know I will hurt our friendship if I told them what I felt.

    Though they (A to D) were also hurt when I was out of the circle, but they try not to show it and we remain friends. The next semester, we are back together though not as close as before but we are happy together. Friendship is about give and take. I decided to keep my anger to myself so I won’t jeopardize the friendship, and it works!!!

    The nightmare begins when A started crying and telling me that she is disappointed with our other friends (B to D), but she refuse to tell me what is it. I said let it be, it will be solve in a few days as I know how close they are. Sure they’ll find a way to make things out. I told E that my dear friend is having some trouble with B, C and D (me and my big mouth).

    Suddenly, one day, E told me something that change my day. I frankly don’t know how it happens, but all I care about is what B, C and D is talking behind A’s back to E, F and G. OMG!!!! I was furious and ask E, "Do you believe them? Do you think A will do that? Is it possible that any person will do that?” and she says, “I don’t know, they sounds convincing. Because they say they have prove.”

    I seriously at that time felt that I should do something to make things right, because I know it is because my big mouth that cause B, C and D thought that A told me about their argument. The best part is that they thought A told me everything, but truthfully she only told me that they had an arguments not what they argue about. So when I call A to tell her what E told me she started to tell me what they argue about.

    She tries to keep her cool by saying to me that it’s alright, that everything is alright. She only requested me to just let this thing slip off my mind, and never bring up this matter again because it hurts her. So there you go, a true friend who though her other friends are talking behind her back and try to take her DIGNITY away from her, yet she still try her very best not to do the same to her ‘so called’ friends.
    Although until now I don’t know exactly what happen, but I kept my loyalty to A, but not to the others because I respect her maturity and rationality. Though were left by them, but we are happy with only the two of us still together because we know that they are nothing as compared to what we will become.

    Every time I saw them in the hallway or in class, I cannot stop thinking to myself of what had caused them to change? Or maybe it’s my ignorance that had caused me to not see them as them before this. That their naïve physical cause me to skip all negative vibe that I receive from them when we were together? They don’t have to apologize to me, they never have to. There is only one person that they should as for forgiveness from; it is A. though I know A already had forgiven them. It is just for the sake of humanity. To give and to ask for forgiveness, as they had done a ‘FITNAH’ and all Muslims know what it is and what it equals to.

    I apologize to A as I shouldn’t write this blog about her but I want to set the record straight once and for all. I LOVE YOU and May Allah bless you with all the happiness in the world…
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